Unforgiveness will kill a marriage instantly. We have learned all our lives that we are to forgive others. Practicing unforgiveness will get us nowhere in life. If we don't forgive others of their sins against us, we should not expect God to forgive us.
“Should forgiveness be unconditional?”
People often have the impression that the Bible requires forgiveness to be unconditional. But the Bible doesn’t say that. It tells us that we should “Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13). While God’s forgiveness is undeserved, it certainly isn’t unconditional. The Lord’s forgiveness is offered only to those who confess their sin and repent (2 Chronicles 7:14; Leviticus 26; Luke 13:3; 1 John 1:8-10).
On the surface, it might seem noble to forgive unconditionally. But unconditional forgiveness is usually motivated more by fear than by love. And because of this it’s usually destructive. If a wife continues to forgive a habitually unfaithful and abusive husband unconditionally, her toleration of his behavior will probably result in even more abuse and disrespect. This kind of “unconditional” forgiveness expresses a determination to cling to the status quo. No matter how bad things are, this woman fears that things will probably get worse if she holds her husband accountable. Her passive acceptance of his behavior will probably encourage him to continue in his sin. Instead of her forgiveness being a helpful act of love, it is actually a violation of love that will hinder his growth toward Christlikeness.
Article by Gospel.com
I was in a marriage where there was physical, mental, verbal abuse. What does the bible say about divorcing in this case?
Tricia W. says:
I have been searching the bible on that same issue, but it only speaks of divorce because of adultery. it is spoken about in matthew, john, 1 corinthians just to name a few. the issue is, God never intended for divorce. it was not His will, but He honored Moses’ law on it (for what is bound on earth will be bound in heaven Matthew 18:18) because of the callousness of our hearts.
Pray on it and seek the Lord’s counsel. And do whatever He says. God does not delight in seeing His children in pain or broken or hurt. He sees all and knows all. He is just and merciful, so trust in Him that He has the answer and that He will bring healing. Then be patient and wait on Him. A good scripture to read… Psalm 92
I too was in a horrible marriage that was filled with abuse and also adultery. I divorced and has since been remarried to a wonderful man who respects and takes very good care of me and my children. Although the Bible only offers adultery as an out and for remarriage, it also commands the husband to love his wife as Christ loved the church and this is not happening in your situation. You need to get out. You’ll have to seek your heart about divorce and remarriage if that becomes an option. I only know that now I can worship the Lord with gladness and without fear. I’ll be praying for you as you seek guideance.