BBWO: BLACK BUSINESS WOMEN ONLINE

Lessons For Women

Women have wondered forever what it is about porn that mesmerizes so many men. Some of us have tried to participate with our partners only to find ourselves feeling like Hell afterwards. Others of us have found ways to make it part of our sexual lexicon with mixed results.

Let's face it. Outside of the industry, it is difficult at best for a couple to comfortably fit porn into their relationship. Men, on the other hand, generally have no problem keeping as part of their lives for their entire lives - whether they hide it or not. It is a very popular source of entertainment, sexual gratification, and oftentimes - a coping mechanism.

The reasons men like it are as varied as the men who like it. However, there is one thing I discovered in my own research that is a recurring theme. Men thoroughly enjoy the attitudes of the women involved. The women are generally average looking. Most times, they are not extraordinarily beautiful the way many of us imagine. However, they do appear to thoroughly enjoy sex for the sake of sex. They act like they enjoy everything about the sexual experience.

This is a valuable insight that women would do well to find a way to incorporate into their real life encounters. Men don't need you to be a sexual pretzel. They don't need tricks out of the ordinary to be satisfied. What they do need is to feel desired - sexually and totally. Men crave approval and acceptance at least as much as women do. They have different ways of showing it, but it's true.

Bottom line - men want us to want them as much as they want us. They want us to surrender ourselves to the ecstasy they create for us. They don't want us to be controlled and conservative. They want us uninhibited and free (without a salary or a script)!!!!

Here's what I suggest - enthusiasm! Show it. Don't hide it. Don't pretend. Be creative and inventive without violating your sensibilities. You'll probably surprise yourself with the things you come up with. Experiment, play, enjoy. But here's one thing you should never do - never do anything that you both can't agree on. Force and coercion should have no place in intimate exchanges. Other than that, be open (no pun intended - smile) and leave no doubt in your man's mind that you are excited about sharing yourself with him. You won't regret it.

Speaking the truth in love,

Deidre

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